Keeping up appearances
Dang dudes. It’s been a minute since I’ve taken then time to post an update here. There are Lots of reasons for my absence from this particular forum. The main one being the general upheaval and chaos prevalent in my life in the past year. Many changes have taken place and truly I feel like a completely different person than the one who inititated this project. Such is life.
I’m feeling incredibly introspective tonight. It’s the eve of my daughters’ birthday. They’ll be four tomorrow. I’ve spent much of today recalling little details about the day they came into the world. What a profound experience-utterly excruciating, extraordinarily terrifying, and ultimately heartbreaking- in the sense that my whole being became humbled by the work ahead of me.
I have since sacrificed much of the carefree existence which I enjoyed when this journal started. I still love the skateshop and all my bros. But I’ve moved away from all that to establish myself on a more sustainable path. Now I am studying to become a nurse. Healing, helping, and above all, employment, have drawn me toward this new career. In a few short years, or at my blog rate, two short posts, from now I will be Nurse ProfeshnalBetty, RN.
For brevity sake I’m leaving many things out, obviously. I just want to leave you with an observation and perhaps a little inspiration found in crucial and painful moments like giving birth or an exceedingly gnarly slam.
My whole life I’ve been searching for one thing that’s entirely true. So far this is it. Life was meant to break you. The only way to make it even one tiny step forward sometimes is to breathe and let the pain run thru you. Then, after you realize that almost every part of you has been destroyed, you hold on to the one thing that isn’t, and you try as hard as you can to get up.
This is me. Getting up.
Much love
PB
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